Most people drift through life never pausing to ask: “What would truly make me happy?”

But what if you were handed a blank check, not just for money, but for happiness itself on one condition: You had to design a detailed plan to achieve it?

Carl Barney’s Happiness Experiment reveals something revolutionary: Intentional happiness planning doesn’t just improve your life, it transforms it. This radical invitation changed everything for the participants, and it could for you too.



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Why a Happiness Plan Is So Powerful


Happiness plans differ in content and sophistication. Barney’s experiment showed that when you commit to intentionally designing your happiness, several life-changing things happen:

✔ It Forces Presence, Clarity & Commitment – Happiness isn’t passive, it’s intentional. It requires realigning your life by clarifying values, setting purposeful goals, and acting in sync with what matters most to you.


✔ It Demands Deep Thinking – The planning process becomes a mirror. You reflect, question, dream, and in doing so, you rewire your mindset for joy.


✔ It Sparks Meaningful Conversations – Discussing short-term and long-term happiness (especially with a partner) can revitalize relationships. “Happiness chats” between partners created deep and allowed them to reimagine their life together.

✔ It Expands Your Vision of What’s Possible – A true happiness plan doesn’t just guide your desires, it awakens hidden dreams and unlocks possibilities you never knew existed.


The Values That Showed Up In The Happiness Plans





The Hard (But Rewarding) Work of Happiness Planning


Creating a happiness plan is no small task. It asks for emotional honesty, self-reflection, and sometimes uncomfortable realizations, like:

  • “My life is out of balance – I’ve neglected my own joy.”

  • “I’ve taken my relationship for granted.”

  • “My home feels chaotic when I crave peace.”

  • “I’ve been ignoring problems I don’t want to face.”

But the magical thing is that: Once seen, these truths can be fixed.

For couples in Barney’s study, these “happiness chats” became a lifeline, breaking the monotony of daily life and reigniting love, purpose, and partnership.

Coaching helped one of the couples shift to a values-driven mindset, separating money from meaning. Over time, they refined their values first, then aligned their spending with what truly brought happiness.





Defining Happiness & Pleasure

Happiness is your life’s north star – a profound convergence of love, purpose, and achievement that grows richer with time. Like a pond fed by countless streams, it grows through accumulated moments of meaning: relationships that nourish us, successes that elevate us, and values that ground us. True happiness is a sustained fulfillment, expanding as you intentionally cultivate what matters most.

Pleasure, by contrast, is the sparkle on life’s surface – the immediate delight of a shared laugh, a perfect meal, or spontaneous adventure. These joyful moments are vital refreshment, but they flow differently than happiness’ deeper currents.


The Critical Difference:

  • Happiness is the grand strategy of your life: a long-term pursuit of meaning, purpose, and deep fulfillment anchored in your core values.

  • Pleasure is the tactical win: the short-term delight that energizes you in the moment. It’s the joyful spark that fuels your journey along the way.


You can (and sometimes should) forego pleasure for happiness. For example, studying instead of partying in college. Pursuing happiness is never a sacrifice as the happiness habits (haphabs) or actions can be satisfyingly and deeply pleasurable.



The Happiness Spectrum: How High Can You Go?

Barney identifies happiness as a spectrum from mild contentment to outright euphoria: see levels shown below in the diagram.

The more deeply you feel these emotions, the richer your experience becomes. Even the most reserved among us, Barney jokes, can learn to feel more deeply, and live more fully.




Intensity of Happiness: The Lasting Layers


Happiness pulses at different frequencies and manifests uniquely across relationships. The quiet warmth of family moments vibrates differently than the electric joy between partners. Yet true contentment reveals itself subtly, growing almost imperceptibly like rings inside a tree.

The highest form of happiness? Falling in love with life itself. It emerges when we hold certain truths:


✓ My life has purpose.

✓ The world is fundamentally good.

✓ I walk my values daily.


As James Clear reminds us through Barney’s lens: “Transformation lives in your daily habits, not grand gestures.” 

The most liberating realization? We needn’t master every life domain simultaneously. Lasting happiness comes from consistent alignment – nurturing what matters most (love, work, family) through conscious choice. 80% fulfillment in core areas beats 100% in one area.

Like the best films (including Shawshank’s Redemption, Love Actually), our deepest joy comes from the story we choose to live, not perfection we strain to achieve.


Happiness Habits: The Power of Appreciation, Awe & Admiration

Happiness Habits (HapHabs) are small, daily actions inspired by Atomic Habits that shift identity and mood, and create your emotional architecture. Through doing them, happiness becomes a system, not just a state. Barney highlights three powerful haphabs:

  • Appreciation – Keeping a Done List (not just a to-do list) reinforces how far you’ve come. Celebrate your wins, big and small. Acknowledging progress is a happiness multiplier. (My gratitude journals have been life-changing!)

  • Awe – That spine-tingling wonder from life, art, music, human achievement or moments that stir the soul. (For me, whether I’m watching @Viola Davis command the screen in The Woman King and G20 or journaling to the soundtrack of my favorite K-drama OST, happiness builds with each intentional act of reverence).

  • Admiration – is appreciation in action – a virtuous cycle that begins with celebrating our own wins, then radiating outward to honor others’. It connects past gratitude, present mindfulness, and future aspirations into one meaningful practice. Celebrating others and yourself is fuel for joy.





When Clouds Roll In: Navigating Life’s Storms

Life’s storms are inevitable – grief, stress, setbacks, loss – dark clouds that disrupt our plans and test our spirit. But like weather, our emotional skies constantly change.

When life gets dark, values become your compass.

Return to your core and ask:

  • Who am I?

  • What do I value?

  • What brings me joy?


Then hold fast to your truth: Remember who you are. Cling to what matters. Trust that behind every storm, the sun still shines.

Happiness isn’t the absence of clouds, but the unshakable knowing that light always returns.




Happiness by Design: Your Turn to Build It

Happiness is a conscious creation. Built through daily habits, courageous choices, and a commitment to design the life you deserve that aligns with your deepest values.

Your happiness revolution starts today:

  • What’s one “HapHab” you’ll commit to?

  • Where does your life need more joy?

  • What will your happiness plan include?


You hold the blueprint. Stop waiting. Start building. No permission needed. (Your future self will thank you.)

Let me know in the comments or share this with someone who’s ready to plan their way into a more joyful life.

Struggling to start? You can hire a happiness coach, who will support, coach, cheer for you, and walk with you. 






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