“You’re just not the right fit.”

The first time I heard those words, it felt like a punch to the gut.

Eleven years ago, I sat in my car, stunned beyond my wits. I had poured my heart into the interview process, confident in my qualifications and experience. But there it was – a rejection that didn’t just feel professional; it felt personal.

It hurt. It made me question my worth, my skills, and everything I thought I knew about myself.

But here’s what I’ve learned since then: feedback like this isn’t just about you and isn’t the end of the road. It’s about fit – a vague, often subjective concept that can feel impossible to pin down. But instead of letting it derail you, what if you could use it as fuel to grow, pivot, and thrive? 

Over the years, I’ve developed a system to navigate these moments, and today, I want to share it with you.


Acknowledge the Sting (But Don’t Let It Define You)


When you hear “not the right fit,” it’s okay to feel the sting. Rejection hurts because it taps into our deepest fears – am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong?

The truth is that the sting is temporary. It doesn’t define you.

Action Step: Give yourself permission to feel the disappointment, but set a time limit. Allow yourself a day to process, then shift your focus to growth.

Decode the Feedback


The phrase “not the right fit,” is vague, and that’s what makes it so frustrating. But instead of taking it at face value, dig deeper. It’s easy to take it personally. Pause. Ask yourself: What does this really mean?

  • Is it about skills or experience?

  • Is it about cultural fit or personality?

  • Is it about the hiring manager’s biases?

  • Is it about timing or external factors beyond your control?


The key is to separate the feedback from your self-worth. You’re not being rejected as a person; you’re being passed over for a specific role at a specific time. 

Action Step: If possible, ask for specific feedback. A simple, “Could you share what would make someone the right fit for this role?” can provide clarity and help you improve for next time. Don’t anticipate a reply.

Reframe the Narrative


Here’s a perspective shift: You don’t want to be the right fit for every role. 

Think about it. Would you really thrive in a workplace that doesn’t align with your values, strengths, or vision? Or in a role that doesn’t challenge or inspire you? Sometimes, “not the right fit” is a blessing in disguise; it saves you from a path that wasn’t meant for you. 

Action Step: Write down what you want in a role or organization. Use this feedback as a reminder to stay true to your goals and seek opportunities that truly align with who you are. 

Turn Rejection into Reinvention 


Rejection can be a powerful catalyst for growth. Shift your focus from setbacks to lessons that drive growth.

  • Did the feedback highlight a skill gap? Consider upskilling or gaining experience in that area. 

  • Did it hint at cultural misalignment? Reflect on the environments where you thrive and seek those out. 

  • Did it feel vague or unfair? Use it as motivation to build a personal brand that leaves no room for doubt about your value. 


Action Step: Create a “Rejection to Reinvention” plan. Identify one actionable step you can take to grow from this experience.

Own Your Worth


Here’s the most important part: You are not defined by someone else’s perception of you. 

You know your strengths, your achievements, and the value you bring to the table. Don’t let one piece of feedback – no matter how painful – diminish that. 

Action Step: Write a “Worth Manifesto.” List your accomplishments, skills, and the qualities that make you unique. Revisit it whenever self-doubt creeps in.

Keep Moving Forward 


Rejection is part of the journey. Rejection is a redirection. Every “no” brings you closer to the right “yes.” The key is to keep going; not just with persistence, but with purpose. 

Remember, the right fit isn’t about changing who you are to fit a mold. It’s about finding the mold that fits you. If it isn’t there, go out and build one. You are enough.

So, take a deep breath. Dust yourself off. And keep moving forward. Your perfect fit is out there; and it’s worth the wait. You can even create it instead of waiting.


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Have you ever been told you’re “not the right fit”? How did you handle it?

Share your story in the comments. Let’s inspire each other to keep going. 

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