She stood before a room full of loved ones, celebrating 2 milestones many dream of but few achieve: her 50th birthday and 30 years of marriage.
Her words weren’t polished fairy-tale sentiments; they were something far more powerful. She delivered a raw, honest, and breathtaking blueprint for building a lasting legacy of love – not in spite of your differences, but because of them.
It was a profound testimony of what it takes to build a marriage that not only survives but thrives, even when two people are, as she declared, as “diametrically opposed” as possible.
With the striking admission, “I have a diametrically opposed husband… And how the two of us have worked for this 30 years marriage, God alone knows,” she laid bare the real work behind a three decades-long union. This was not a story of effortless compatibility, but a masterclass in the deliberate choices that forge an unbreakable bond.
Her story stands as a powerful blueprint for couples who dare to believe that differences don’t have to divide. It is a profound lesson in mindset, intentionality, parenting, and resilience, proving that the strongest foundations are often built with contrasting materials, creating a love that is both deeply grounded and unshakably strong.
Mindset: Choosing Willpower Over Differences
At the beginning, their marriage was anything but easy. She, outgoing and expressive; he, introverted and reserved. His habit of retreating from guests felt like rejection to her. She admitted to his mother, “I really can’t cope with this man.”
Standing at the altar, she had said, “till death do us part,” but in her heart, she wasn’t sure they’d make it.
But then came the pivot. The powerful, life-altering shift in mindset: “Today, I just want to encourage all the couples here that no matter how different your personalities, you can make things work. Yes, if you want to.”
If you want to.
Those three words are the secret. Resilience in marriage is a series of choices. She decided she had the will. Not feelings. Not flawless compatibility. Will.
That single choice, to commit with intentional willpower, transformed despair into determination. And for 30 years, it became the fuel that carried them through seasons of tension, challenge, and change.
Intentionality: Love by Choice, Not by Chance
Marriage that lasts decades isn’t a product of luck but the result of deliberate choices. It’s the daily intentionality to choose connection over being right, to choose understanding over winning an argument.
She leaned on trusted friends, on family, and most of all, on faith. In the hardest moments, she didn’t isolate, she reached out. Her community became lifelines, reminding her: “You will cope.”
Intentionality meant showing up when it was hardest, choosing loyalty when emotions wavered, and building connection even when it didn’t come naturally. Marriage, she reminded us, is not a one-time vow, but a daily choice.
The Unseen Support System: Parenting and Community
A 30-year marriage doesn’t thrive in a vacuum. She beautifully highlighted how parenting and community are woven into the fabric of resilience.
She thanked her supportive children, , whose presence gave her courage during the hardest seasons. They were her why. The unit they had built together was worth fighting for. Her children are her legacy – a reminder that kids don’t need perfection, they need perseverance modelled in front of them.
And then, her community, her “mates.” She gave us a glimpse of the lifelines that keep a marriage afloat: “Some moments when it was so difficult, I will call Joan and say, I will not cope in this marriage. And she will say you will cope. You know she’s been there… We have been encouraging each other.”
This is the power of a supportive tribe. It’s the friends who become sisters, the family who offers financial help without judgment, the uncle who says, “No matter how tough it was, he was always there.” This village doesn’t just raise children; it sustains marriages.
Resilience: Weathering Life’s Fiercest Storms
The true test of love doesn’t come in the easy seasons; it comes in the valleys. In 2017/18, her husband Henry was diagnosed with cancer. The treatments: chemo, and radiotherapy brought nights of fear, tears, and exhaustion. Where do you turn when your world shakes? For her, the answer was clear: “Through it all, I learned to put my trust in God.”
She saw patients in the hospital with money in their accounts but no one by their side. It was a powerful reminder that wealth is found in people, not possessions. Her testimony was simple yet profound: “If God gave me hope, God can give you hope.”
Today, Henry is cancer-free. Their marriage is not just a story of survival, but of overcoming together. And as she stands there, more beautiful than ever, she speaks peace to those having sleepless nights.
Her story is a testament that the “cancers” we face: be they physical, marital, or financial, are not the end of the story. They are the refiner’s fire.
Gratitude: The Thread That Holds It Together
She ended as she began: with gratitude.
It was not with a list of achievements, but with gratitude for, and in celebration of the diametrically opposed man she chose, and continues to choose every day. Gratitude for her children, family, in-laws, friends who became sisters, uncles who stepped in with support. Gratitude for a God who carried them through the unthinkable.
And gratitude for the community that came from all corners of the world: South Africa, Canada, the USA, the Middle East, etc.- to celebrate 30 years of faith, love, and resilience, and 50 years of her beautiful life.
One of my daughters remarked that their awesome celebration weekend at the Vale Resort, showed her sisterhood; her community showing up for one of their own; and that Gwen cares and treats everyone so well. What a remarkable and beautiful testament to an incredible life.
Love That Lasts is Built, Not Found
Her story is not about two people perfectly aligned, but about two people who chose to build together. It’s a reminder that lasting marriage is not about sameness but about mindset, intentionality, resilience, and faith.
Thirty years ago, she doubted they’d make it. Today, she testifies with joy: “It’s getting sweeter every day.”
So I leave you with these questions: What’s one small way you can choose “will” over “feel” in your relationships this week? How are you building your community? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Thank you for being a VCC reader.