I recently had the privilege of reading an advanced copy of a book that has completely shifted my perspective on wealth, purpose, and happiness. Without giving too much away because I truly believe this is a book you need to experience for yourself; I want to share my reflections on Part 1 of The Happiness Experiment by Carl B. Barney.
At the heart of this compelling narrative is a near-death experience that became a turning point for Carl. It forced him to pause, take stock, and ask himself some of life’s most profound questions.
The result? A powerful journey rooted in gratitude, intentional living, and the pursuit of deeper, more meaningful happiness.
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The Happiness Experiment: Lightbulb Moments That Changed Everything
The Power of Coaching
Working with a coach gave Carl a rare gift: a safe space for courageous self-reflection. It allowed him to peel back the layers, explore his inner world freely, and uncover transformative possibilities he hadn’t seen before. He has worked with coaches for 50 years!
Beyond Financial Wealth
Though financially successful beyond his wildest dreams, Carl discovered an inner void – a yearning for something richer: a truly fulfilling life.
Happiness ≠ Money
A powerful theme throughout is the realization that happiness is not guaranteed by wealth. It’s about who you are, how you live, and the purpose you assign to what you have.
The Character Factor
Money, when wielded with integrity and intention, becomes a tool for goodness. Carl emphasizes that it’s not the amount of money, but the character behind its use, that determines its impact.
Intentional Generosity
He made a conscious decision to use his wealth purposefully guided by a powerful three-fold filter: himself, his loved ones, and his deepest values.
Personalized Happiness
Carl’s reflections show that happiness is personal. The financial means required to be happy vary based on individual goals and values. There’s no one-size-fits-all.
Giving That Elevates
Through thoughtfulness and planning, he gave in ways that unexpectedly transformed the lives of others. His intentionality amplified the joy and meaning of each act.
Evolving Purpose
Carl’s earlier success in education and management was rooted in vision and impact. But once wealth was secured, he faced a new challenge: finding a purpose for that wealth.
Joy in the Now
Rather than wait to give or make an impact posthumously, Carl chose to experience the joy now, while alive, to feel the satisfaction of seeing happiness bloom around him.
Vulnerability in Giving
One of the most moving moments was his choice to support family members. The honesty and emotion exchanged in those moments were deeply humbling.
Full-Circle Generosity
When touched by profound generosity, he responded with equal and heartfelt giving: a pay-it-forward now model powered by gratitude.
Spiritual Trades and Pre-Quests
Carl explored the spiritual resonance of giving – recognizing the unseen, emotional weight of his choices and why pre-quests (giving while alive) held so much value.
Earned Gratitude
He affirmed a simple yet powerful truth: gratitude is most beautiful when it’s earned and expressed freely.
The Ripple Effect
Those who received his gifts felt more than just supported, they felt truly seen, valued, and honoured. It wasn’t just about the money; it was about recognition, dignity, and meaningful connection.
A Movement Begins
Carl’s intentional giving inspired twenty of his friends to begin crafting their own Happiness Plans. That’s how transformation spreads, one thoughtful act at a time.
The Happiness Experiment: Pivotal Questions That Can Change Your Life
In Part 1 of The Happiness Experiment, Carl B. Barney pulls back the curtain on a deeply personal and transformative journey, one not merely born from crisis, but fuelled by curiosity and bold self-inquiry.
Carl didn’t just revisit his financial legacy; he redefined what it meant to live a truly rich life. He dared to ask the questions most people spend their lives avoiding. What emerged wasn’t just a shift in mindset, but the foundation of a radical new framework for living: The Happiness Experiment.
At its core are 18 paradigm-shifting questions: questions that challenge our assumptions about money, purpose, gratitude, and fulfillment. Carl explored what it means to use wealth not just for legacy, but for love. To give intentionally, live presently, and experience joy now, not someday.
This first part of his journey reminds us that happiness isn’t a byproduct of circumstance, it’s something you can design, with clarity, courage, and intentionality. So, we’re left with the most revolutionary question of all: What if happiness isn’t found, but created by you?
Here’s a look at the life-altering questions that shaped his transformation, and could shape yours too:
Rethinking Wealth
- What’s the point of having money if it’s not being used?
- What does your wealth mean to you?
- What is the purpose of the wealth in your life?
- How can you use money to increase your happiness?
Carl realized that money, when left unused or hoarded for “someday,” becomes a missed opportunity. He redefined wealth, not as accumulation, but as activation. What you do with it matters more than how much you have.
Redefining a Rich Life
- What is a rich life?
- What things do you truly enjoy?
- What happens when your purpose evolves?
- What do you hope to gain by giving while you’re still here?
True richness isn’t tied to possessions. It’s about experiences, values, and the joy of living in alignment with what matters most. Carl’s evolving purpose led him to an unexpected place: giving not from the grave, but in the now.
Intentional Generosity
- What if, instead of leaving money in your will, you gave it to people now, while you’re alive to see the impact?
- How do you figure out how much to give?
- Are you afraid of running out of money?
- What prompts someone to be generous?
Carl discovered that generosity isn’t just about the receiver, it’s a gift to the giver too. Giving pre-quests (intentional gifts during life) became a powerful way for him to create connection, joy, and meaning now, not later.
The Power of Gratitude
- Where does your gratitude come from?
- Who has given you the gift of time?
- Who has positively impacted your life?
- Who has shared your values, your most important experiences?
- How are you acknowledging the gifts you’ve received?
- How can you plan to honour your gratitude with action?
This wasn’t just about thank-you notes. Carl’s gratitude evolved into intentional, structured appreciation. He began mapping out ways to express his thanks in tangible, impactful ways – deepening relationships and expanding joy for all involved.
The Language of Generosity: Redefining How We Give and Receive
Bequest
A Bequest is wealth – money or property – left to someone in a will, transferred only after the giver has passed. Though often well-intentioned, bequests can arrive without context, clarity, or conversation, – leading to posthumous confusion, resentment, or fractured relationships.
Pre-Quest
A Pre-Quest is a powerful shift: giving while you’re still alive to express authentic gratitude to those who’ve shaped your life and journey. It’s not charity. It’s not obligation. It’s an intentional, heartfelt acknowledgment of someone’s positive impact – delivered now, when it matters most.
Pre-Quests aren’t limited to money. They can take the form of time, mentorship, meaningful possessions, or experiences. Their true value lies in the thought, the intention, and the transformative conversation it sparks.
Key Differences Between Bequests and Pre-Quests
- Bequests are given in silence. Pre-Quests are given with presence, purpose, and dialogue. There is personal delivery with explanation. Confidential amounts are given with no comparisons.
- Bequests can divide; Pre-Quests can deepen connection. “Dead men can’t say ‘I love you'” – which is why bequests often fail at what pre-quests achieve: connection. In traditional inheritance, 70% of families fight over wills, and 90% of recipients feel guilt/confusion. With pre-quests, bonds are deepened in real time, with a 100% chance to see your gratitude appreciated. This delivers immediate joy for giver and receiver.
This distinction matters because unclear generosity can cause pain. Without context, even the kindest gesture may be misinterpreted.
My husband and I learned this the hard way: a well-intentioned pre-wedding holiday gift was misread as pity and condescending, damaging a relationship for years. A clearly framed pre-quest, grounded in honest gratitude and clear intention, could have changed that outcome.
Gratitude Grants
These are spontaneous, heartfelt gifts made in response to someone’s need, challenge, or contribution to your life. They don’t have to be large, just intentional. The key is clarity. Share why you’re giving it: love, appreciation, admiration. That clarity builds trust and understanding.
Happiness Grants
A Happiness Grant is a gift specifically meant to maximise the happiness in someone’s life. It’s designed to spark joy, fuel dreams, and create immediate, lasting change, within a set time frame (typically 3–5 years) to ensure its impact is real and transformational. It is designed to be focused on dramatic quality-of-life boosts.
Happiness Planning
This is the intentional path of structured self-discovery with a Happiness coach. It is a reflective process of identifying what truly brings you happiness. This planning aligns resources with values and turns abstract “happiness” into actionable steps. It’s intentional living at its highest level, and it begins with a question: What would it take to live a life that feels truly rich, not just in wealth, but in meaning?
The Happiness Experiment Is A Mirror
This isn’t a story about regret or last chances. This story is an invitation – to live on purpose. To give now, while it matters most. To transform thankfulness into tangible impact. To design a life – and a Happiness Plan – rooted in clarity, joy, and intentional generosity.
My Most Powerful Takeaways From Part 1
- Wealth without intentionality is just accumulation, but when infused with purpose, it becomes legacy.
- True gratitude isn’t passive and silent, it demands expression and action.
- The most profound gifts aren’t just transfers of wealth, but recognitions of someone’s worth and value.
This matters now because in a time when so many feel overwhelmed, isolated, and unsure of what truly matters, Carl Barney’s Happiness Experiment offers a bold shift: A vision where happiness becomes a daily discipline, wealth becomes a way to connect, and life becomes a conscious, meaningful creation.
So, ask yourself:
- Am you living richly, by your own definition?
- What legacy are you building while you’re still here to shape it?
- How can your gratitude spark change, connection, and meaning today?
- What if the greatest joy comes not from what you keep, but from what you give away: intentionally, wholeheartedly, and while you’re still here to feel it?
Let me know in the comments or share this with someone who’s ready to plan their way into a more joyful life.
For the full methodology of happiness coaching and happiness planning, grab The Happiness Experiment, or better yet, hire a happiness coach, who will support, coach, cheer for you, walk with you.
Coming up on the 16th of May 2025: Part 2 of The Happiness Experiment: How to Implement Happiness Planning in Your Life
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